Lack of inspiration for my photo's has been really depressing. I don't know why, but it may have something to do with a new excitement for graphic design. I hate it so much yet want to submerge myself in this world of computers and technical skill. I just want to hold on to it for some reason and when I'm back into it, it gets me genuinely excited. However, now that that creativity flows into my head, slowly but surely, my photo's begin to lose a certain quality in them. So what do I choose? To be completely in love and dedicated to art of a graphic kind or to let my heart swim in photography, my most beloved artform? Or should I simply exhaust myself and try to spew ridiculous amounts of creativity until I may be so tired that I am left with no urge to create at all? I dunno.
What is it about new colors that creates an emotion in me? First, i see the color, and then I think, wow thats a beautiful [windy grey (adj + color)]. Suddenly, I squirm with ideas and color combo's. I don't try to, it just happens. It's actually quite scary sometimes how my mind works in color. I love it though. If I could enjoy one thing for the rest of my life besides my girlfriend, perhaps it'd be color. How wonderfully satisfied I am when I see a beautiful palette of colors assorted and combined to create something glorious. I almost feel as though i'm the little rat from ratatouille. His passion for food is indescribable. Far different from his friends who enjoy the simple life of food from the trash. When he bites into something, and combines those flavors with some other savoring thing, there are flashes of calm, cool, emotions or surges of energy and explosions of happiness, depending on what it is. Instead of flavorful explosions in my mouth, I have bursts of feelings in my eyes and my heart. I really do think that it effects my heart.
I wish that I could write. I feel as though I'm much too scatter brained to keep anyone's attention. There are much more feelings within, but those will have to wait for another day.
-John
