To be in this city of fashion, beauty and love is extremely difficult for me and daily it pains me to be in such an extravagant city without her, the one that i would love to see it with most. I really do miss my claire bear so much. I feel like I put on a false face and say...i'm okay...no really i'm fine. Inside, my insides scream at the sound of those lies. How could I be fine when the girl i'm crazy about is in another country.
I could go on and on, but I fear i've said too much already.
Paris...a dreamland actually...is wonderful. With our metro passes...we are basically given a pass to explore one of the most complexly wonderful places on earth. Like most modern cities, Paris is equipped with culture and people. Crowded metro rides remind you how populated this city really is but it also reminds you how amazing it is to be fortunate to be a part of such a culture with some truly great people. I often think about everything that i'm missing back home and in comparison, i feel like i'm going to be missing paris so much a few months from now. I need to make sure that i'm taking advantage of this epic opportunity.
I've learned so much about myself and i've learned that I can truly be myself and be happy. Recently...i've had some ideas about self consciousness, but it's not that bad...though...i know a few days i pulled one of those oh...i ate today thanks...cards...or i'll just have 2 grapefruit. I joke about having it to lose weight...but it's true...i want a higher metabolism and lose some weight...i'm really tired of being fat. I'm really glad though...i get to walk and stuff and though I will be eating a cali burrito upon arriving to San Diego...I am definitely going to walk more...at least I hope i do. Here, we walk everywhere...so why not do it at home. Also, learning to eat normal portions is good. I was getting tired of always eating HUGE portions at school, even though it's so easy with unlimited food. EEEk..so bad.
Dance...
what an amazing way of expression. I enjoy it so much. It makes me so happy to move to music. To allow myself to sink away to another world. The pounding sound and the bumping and shoving that happens at our discotechs is annoying to some, but to me...I dunno...i feel like here are a bunch of people who are enjoying the movement and sound just as I am.
Loup (Lou), Charline and Andre are just some of the people that we've met with and hung out with. It's so cool to be a part of this culture and actually have universal friends. I am really going to miss Lou...i already miss Charline who is living in San Francisco now and who is really doing a self exploration adventure. Good for her...she's braver than I am...and all power to her. We've met fellow Californian's here. I LOVE THEM....seriously...i'm becoming really good friends with some of them and I really really really like them. They're really cool and a lot of fun. I don't know why they didn't introduce us at an earlier dinner...now we only have had a month with them...sad day...
I'm kinda done with this blog...but whatevs...I'll try blogging soon again. Miss you california people.
Just Love,
John
